she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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