Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
