Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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