It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
