wanna go halves on a baby?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
