he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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