Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
