GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize