Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
