You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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