So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
