Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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