Me too!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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