You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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