South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize