Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
sex in a hospital.. check
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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