i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
