I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My liver just had a heart attack.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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