this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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