Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
