I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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