I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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