omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize