I cockslap morals
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
