I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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