he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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