Sponge bath it is.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize