Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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