i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
