And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
