I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
