either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize