Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
