Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize