Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
