on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
