we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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