What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
