it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
