I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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