are you still at the devil's house?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize