East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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