covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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