Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Can I color on your dick again?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
