Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
