So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
