Non-Jews are for practice
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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