if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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