My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
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ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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