he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
They are going to name an STD after you.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
