Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
