What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Vodka?
Forever.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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