If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
