U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
