the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
