I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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