Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
