There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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