Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
