do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize