I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
