My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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