I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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