Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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