you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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