I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
