Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
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Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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