Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize