You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
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he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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