she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You are the jesus of drinking
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
